This is me. Open. Vulnerable. Not often I let myself be seen. Fully and without trying to mask it. I am consciously doing this. Because too long have I tried to be strong, when I needn’t to be. Too long have I preferred to hide myself and emotions away. I don’t want to hide anymore. I am cracked open and I am taking the chance to perpetuate this moment of time for myself as a reminder to stay open and to feel everything. The highs and the lows.
This is me. With tears of sadness and despair. The agony of feeling abandoned and the endless ruminating questions in your head of why things are as they are. A state of non-acceptance to what is and resisting the flow of life.
I believe we came here to feel and experience ourselves. Early on, many of us learn to shut down because of painful experiences. We may have different stories, but pain is the origin. At some point we started building walls around ourselves and finding ways of keeping this pain away from us. And it worked! For a long time. Your way of shutting the pain out became your way of coping with it and now it is your ingrained pattern. It keeps repeating as we grow older, if we are unaware of them. If you want to break the pattern and heal the wound, become aware. Sooner or later you will get tested as the universe will send people your way, who will push your buttons. They will trigger your wounds and you might blame it on them, but it is your responsibility how you feel and react. Don’t project your stuff on them. Own it!
This is me. This is contentment, enjoyment of my surrounding, appreciation for myself and who I am today.
This is me. When I am in alignment with myself. When I feel 100% Trust to my path.
All of these pictures were taken during one hour and they are mirroring perfectly the way I feel any given day lately. These feelings are different parts of me and they are all valid to be felt and expressed.
How do we go about to heal ourselves and break the pattern of being closed off? I believe healing is individual. As for me, I am trying to go into the opposite direction. It starts with:
- Allowing myself to feel and not to judge the emotions that come up
- Experiencing them like waves as long as they want to be felt
- Trying to share more of my inner world instead of hiding it away
- Speaking up when I feel compelled to
I also want to share this song: ‘You are not alone’.
It has helped me tremendously during hard times last year.
Lastly, be gentle with yourself. Respect your boundaries. Rest when you need to.
Feel embraced! 💖